Things are still pretty much the same as this morning. It is tough to hear doctors give you "permission" to decide when Luke has fought as long as he could. As the doctor looked me in the eyes and told me to let them know whenever I felt like we had done everything we could, I literally almost threw up. In that moment, I looked down at Luke who was trying to cry but no sound was coming out (since he is on a ventilator) - and my heart broke into. The worst pain in the world is to see your own baby hurting, knowing there is nothing you can do to help. However, in the midst of that horrible pain, the Lord spoke to me - My Father in heaven experiences the same pain when His children hurt. When Jesus was on the cross, crying out, God's heart was broken. He feels our hurts, He knows our pain, He is our Abba Father. He doesn't turn His ear away from us when we cry out to Him - but comes to comfort, protect and strengthen. Most of all - God never gives up on us.
I thought about that for a while. God has never ever ever given up on me. Even when I messed up beyond measure, He BELIEVED in me. He did not create me, you or Luke just to forsake us when things get tough. He is our biggest cheerleader in the good and bad times. When the whole world turns against us and tells us that there is no hope, that things are beyond repair - Our heavenly Father is still on our side. He never gives up on us.
I understand that doctors are doing what they have to do. They don't want to see my son suffer any more than I do. I appreciate their honesty. However, as Luke's mom - I am convinced in my heart that, just as God the Father believes, I believe in Luke. I cannot give up on my sweet baby boy. As long as he wants to fight, Benson and I will stand beside him and fight along with him. Only the Lord knows what is BEST for Luke - and I have peace in placing Luke's life in His hands.
Pray with us that Luke's body will perfuse blood into his hands and feet. In order for Luke to have a chance - blood has to begin to flow into his arms and legs...now! We know this is possible. Doctors told us today that they didn't expect him to do well without ECMO oxygen support the other day and that they were actually amazed that he made it over 9 hours breathing on his own. Anatomically, Luke was not supposed to do that well - but we know that the prayers of many and the grace of God are what made our little boy surprise doctors. We know that heart babies are supposed to have problems with their kidneys after surgery - but by prayer and power, our little guy is the king of producing pee. God is answering prayers and giving us miracles.
We truly believe that satan is trying to come in between the healing of our little guy by stopping blood flow to the hands and feet that are moving mountains. Satan does not want Luke to prosper, so he is coming at us from every angle. Join us in rebuking any hindrance that comes against our baby - in the name of Jesus, satan has to flee!! We destroy any evil spirit that is keeping blood from flowing through Luke and claim victory over the enemy on behalf of our child. God desires for Luke to have abundant life and, as his parents, we receive the miraculous gift that God has begun in Luke's life. Please pray with us, please...pray, pray pray.
Luke - we love you. Oh, how we love you! We believe in you. We are beside you and as long as you want to fight little buddy, you fight. God is in your corner and He will never give up on you. Neither will we, sweet boy. We will never give up.