Update: Luke had a really great day. He was able to get rid of a lot of fluid but still has a long way to go. Tonight, as we were sitting there - the nurses noticed that his blood pressure and other stats were starting to go up a little after being the same for a long period of time. After they mentioned his rising numbers, I looked over to his bed and saw his little tiny arm reach up to the sky - almost like he was praising the Lord! I went over and watched as he moved his little fingers and kicked his leg. He had been taken off his paralytic meds yesterday morning but was being kept heavily sedated so his body could rest. However, Luke decided to wake up a little bit and show Mommy and Daddy that he was still hanging in there. It was the first bit of life that we have seen out of him all week. After sitting there day after day staring at him while he didn't move a muscle, I had started to almost forget that he could move. Tonight, he would wiggle and respond when he heard our voice or felt our touch. It was almost like he was saying "Hey, I'm here...don't give up on me!" Of course, the doctors and nurses want him to stay asleep and rest - but it was still good to help lift our spirits.
Luke also showed some signs that his heart may be rebounding from surgery. His blood gases showed signs of improvement and they thought his heart rhythms looked a little more "snappy" - meaning that Luke's heart may be trying to work some on its own. He still has a huge mountain ahead of him but we will take any small step in the right direction - no matter how small it may be! Keep praying specifically that Luke will be able to move fluid off of his body and that his body will recover from all the stress of surgery on Thursday. We are praying in advance that his pulmonary veins will begin to grow and that his lungs will be able to work with his heart to support his body without ECMO on Monday! We are praying for a miracle...but our God is in business of working miracles and I am claiming that with all of the prayers being lifted up for Luke - He is in the process of working that miracle right now.
We are so blessed.
Today, I keep repeating in my mind just how much we have been blessed. It is so easy to allow satan to fill up our minds and hearts with bitterness and anger over our situation. There have been moments when I will admit that I was upset with God. However, I refuse to open the door to allow satan to build up those thoughts inside me. Today I claim - we are blessed.
First of all, we are blessed that the blood of Jesus has covered our sins and that He died on a cross to give us victory over every battle in our lives. We are blessed that the Lord is on our side and that no weapon formed against us shall prosper. We are blessed that we have one another - a bond so strong and so anointed that the strongest of storms only makes our love stronger. We are blessed with a family that stands beside us, supports us and fights along with us. We are blessed with a son who has a strength inside his tiny little body that is overwhelming. We are blessed that his life is literally moving mountains for the glory of the Lord - mending broken relationships, strengthening people's faith and drawing men and women to their knees. We are blessed to be part of something bigger than we ever dreamed of. Yes, our baby is sick. Yes, his prognosis is not good. Yes, he may not make it. We may be struck down - but we are NOT destroyed. We serve an awesome God who has promised us that He will never leave us or forsake us. So today I claim that we are blessed.
A month or so ago, I wrote about the day I found out about Luke's heart condition and how in that moment everything changed. That day, life was no longer about me - but all about Luke. The day that Luke was born and put on ECMO, I realized even more that it wasn't about me, or even about Luke...but it was ALL about Jesus. It is so easy to focus our lives and our desires on what we want to happen. Ultimately, it is all about bringing glory to the Father.
I know in my heart that children are a gift from the Lord and more than anything - Luke belongs to Him. Every second I have the opportunity to be his mother is a precious gift the Lord has given to me. The day he was born, I held him for one minute but I know that when I kissed his forehead and handed him over - I didn't just hand him to a nurse. I handed him back over to the hands that created him. I gave him back to the Lord and I have a peace that surpasses all understanding in knowing that my sweet little boy is exactly where he needs to be. The Lord is still completing the good work He began in Luke's life and this season of fear and uncertainty is just part of the big picture God has painted for Luke and the testimony he will one day be able to share with the world. Benson and I are just blessed to be able to be a part of Luke's amazing story.