We had our last appointment in Louisville yesterday! We will go in for induction next Tuesday morning unless he decides to make an early appearance before then. I am 1cm dilated and 25% effaced and Luke's head is fully engaged, so Dr. Tabb thought there was a possibility I may not make it till Tuesday...but I guess we will just wait and see! Either way, we are less than five days away from Luke's arrival!
Doctors are still feeling really good about Luke's heart. They were able to get a good view of it again yesterday and things still looked the same as last week. Dr. Tabb felt confident that the pulmonary artery and aorta are normal size - which indicates that there is blood flow in the left side. Now, we just have to wait and see what tests show after Luke is born to find out exactly what that means in terms of surgery and how things will proceed. Dr. Tabb told us again before we left that in his 30 years of doing high-risk fetal medicine that Luke has the best hypoplastic left heart that he has ever seen. We are definitely praising the Lord for such positive words from a doctor that we have full confidence in and continuing to pray for tests to show a fully functional left ventricle once he is born.
Everyone keeps asking me if I'm ready, and yes, part of me is so ready to see his little face and hold him for the first time. The other part is really sad that my pregnancy is coming to an end. When I first found out I was pregnant everyone talked about how miserable I would be, but honestly, I have loved even the most painful moments of it. I have been blessed with very little sickness and fatigue and have really felt better then when not pregnant. It has been the most amazing experience - one that completely changes your life and how you look at the world. It's crazy to think that this day is finally almost here!
I will admit, I am a bunch of nerves thinking about Luke's birth. It is enough to be nervous about the birth of your first baby - much less adding on all of the other unknowns that we are facing. We know that there are so many people out there who love and are praying for us and we could never tell you just how much it means to us. However, we are asking that instead of coming to visit us in the hospital that you would just lift us up in prayer from home instead. Luke's birth will not be a "normal" situation and no one except immediate family will be able to see him right after he is born - possibly not even for several days after depending on what happens in terms of surgery. After his birth, he will be immediately taken over to Kosair's NICU where tests will be run to determine his final diagnosis. I will be recovering and will obviously have a lot on my mind. Benson and I will have doctors coming in to discuss test results and go over decisions regarding Luke's condition. Needless to say, it will be a very chaotic and emotional time for us all. The most love and support you can offer us is through prayer. We will let you know later, once Luke is stable and we know more about what our future holds, when we are ready for visitors outside of our immediate families.
I am so excited to see how the next week will change our lives. I am even more excited to be part of something incredible the Lord is doing through my little boy's heart. I am scared, anxious, nervous and overwhelmed but I know that the victory over our situation has already been won. The Lord fought my son's battle and paid the ultimate price on the cross. When I am reminded of that remarkable, earthshaking power - I have peace. No matter how scared or nervous I may feel - I know in my hearth that the Lord is still on His throne and is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. He will still be the same God next Tuesday when I am in labor and when Luke is born. In the moment of my greatest fears, He will be there and He will hold my son's heart in His hands. Right now, I have no idea what will happen but the Lord has promised me His presence and that alone is enough to get me through anything.